we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
