he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
