i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
