"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize