when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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