You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
the liver wants what the liver wants
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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