She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
