so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She even gives head with a lisp.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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