I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
