i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
