I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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