today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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