phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
