they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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