I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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