Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
