HIV tests are more positive than that guy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
