i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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