you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
