covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize