its not stalking. its research.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
