Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
