You made me cry and you don't even care
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
