should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
