It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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