Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
