She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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