dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
