problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
