A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
