Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
