i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
