some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
