Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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