Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
