if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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