Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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