Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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