found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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