Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
