man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize