he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
