Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
