I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize