I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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