you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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