Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
