Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
