Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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