that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
