Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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