i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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