Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
