His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
