found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
