i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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