I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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