I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
