Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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