It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
