absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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