Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
