I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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