A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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