The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What changed your mind?
Being sober
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
