brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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