If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They took my balls.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
