so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
