You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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