My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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