she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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