Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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