In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
