so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
