I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
