you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
