Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
