I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
