'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
